I want to say something here that if I don't say it, no one will ever know it. I remembered just this morning what it felt like when I was thinking about going back to school (over 30 years ago). Why I thought about going back to school and eventually did go back to school had all to do with an internal work.
My family and I were attending a church that met in a home and worship took place in the downstairs of their two-story home on Sunday mornings. The Pastor and his wife were two people that helped me to realize how much closer I really wanted to be with God than I presently was. As I sat under their ministry and began to get a sense of where they were coming from, I began to sense a lonely/longing within me. I had accepted Christ by faith but I was longing for a closeness that wasn't being satisfied.
I was learning to read the bible and the more I read and studied the bible the more I began to sense a closeness to God. This won't make sense to everyone, but I began to feel God close to me when I read His words and I felt He was speaking to me. Of course, the closeness came as a result of studying and then obeying God's Word.
So, here is what I recently remembered about that time. I began to consider going back to school. I had checked out some schools for training in fine woodworking. But that didn't seem to have quite the right draw for me. I enjoyed working with wood, but there was something else at my core that was crying for attention. I was hungry to be close to God and I was beginning to get that through reading and studying and obeying God's word. But I wanted more and more of that. I was lonely for God and so I began to look at schools where I could learn more about how to study the bible.
So it all came to be that I went back to school to get my Bachelor degree in Bible. And then I went onto Seminary to get my Master of Divinity. And the reason for doing that was so that I might study the bible and get closer and closer to God. And the result of all that was this. I went on to become a Pastor of a local Church. But that was never my intention when I began the journey. But it certainly became the outcome.
I guess what I really want to say is that it was all well and good to become a pastor of a local church. But the gut honest reason for getting a bachelor degree in bible and a master of divinity degree was to know God on a deeper level - so I could honestly hear His Words to me. I guess I remembered that in order to return to my first love for God. I am now in pursuit of hearing God speak to me in a fresh and new way. Anyone interested in joining me in this pursuit?
How honest and real your blog posts are. If we could just hear Him speak through all the loudness around us every day. I hope for that too. For u to be able to hear, and so many other people too, and me too. Keep writing.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing. I never knew this. I always thought your plan was to become a pastor. God was leading you each step of the way it sounds like.
ReplyDeleteI desire that closeness all the time. Life's daily challenges make it hard sometimes (more often than I'd like to admit). Yes I am on this pursuit with you 100%.