Going forward doesn't mean you're facing forward all the time.
After I had begun following Christ, I took on some different activities. I was attending church. I got involved in a men's bible study. I also began a routine of spending 15-20 minutes in the morning reading my bible and praying. I also gave up my after work activities with the boys. Getting stoned and catching the alcohol and pot buzz wasn't important anymore. And that, of course, made the boys ask questions.
Now my activities of 'change' didn't necessarily mean I was totally free from their grip. Let me tell you about one occasion where I caved in. This wasn't the only one, but it's the only one I'm going to tell you about for now.
We lived in this beautiful mountain village in Colorado. We had purchased a home there on the hillside near the hospital and it overlooked the town. What a great place to live. The Elk roamed freely through our yard and raided our garden...regularly. It seemed like Saturday night was always their night for a raid. A friend of mine, from back east, had come to visit. But really, we were just a stopover for them. This friend and a friend of his came with their van and a trailer. They both had motorcycles strapped to the trailer. They stayed with us a couple days and then headed to California on their bikes.
We had been motorcycle and pot smoking buddies in the past. And so we had a conversation about the use of drugs. I told them that wasn't part of my life any longer. I was following Christ and that was more important to me. Well, just before they headed out to California, he told me that if I wanted, there was some stuff in the glove box.
Well, they left. A few days later, while all alone at the house, I began to think "would it feel as good to get high as I remember it?" And so, I went out to their van and instead of looking in the glove box I looked in the ash tray. There I found a partially smoked joint (marijuana cigarette). I sat in the van and I smoked that joint. In just a few moments I was higher than a kite. I began to pray "God, help me to come down from this." God did not instantly lower me back down to an un-stoned condition. It wore off as a result of it's normal wear off time. But what that felt like for me was a literal wall coming up between me and my God. And I did not enjoy feeling separated from Him. I had come to want, more than anything, the realization that God was close to me.
Has anybody ever gotten detoured and then realize the foolishness of getting off track? Or, am I the only one? www.unitedchurchofderuyter.org